As we get ready to move out of state we are trying to squeeze in some last minute things like getting my daughter through driving school. She will barely have enough time to finish, but she is doing very well. She passed her written test and got her permit last week....much to my horror. I am actually very proud of her; however, am a nervous passenger. I usually drive everywhere and my husband has become very accustomed to that, (even enjoys being chauffeured around I think...lol). I guess in the process of this becoming the norm, my fear of being in the passenger seat, and not being in control, has gotten worse. The day Cheyenne got her permit, I knew she would want to drive home when I picked her up from driving school. I cannot tell you how I dreaded it...all day at work I thought about it, went through all the worst case scenarios in my mind and got myself all nice and worked up. So when that time came, I was nice and scared out of my mind.....BUT, I did not chicken out! I knew that I could not disappoint my sweet baby girl; after all, she had worked so hard for this. So I took a deep breath and sat my rear in the passenger seat.
Luckily, the road we travel away from the school is a nice 35 mph road....nice and steady. Then we came to the 45 mph road...nice and steady. I was now getting somewhat relaxed and was encouraging her along the way. I think she was actually more nervous than I was as she just continued to talk, and talk, and talk, and talk.....(obviously a nervous habit she is unaware of). She asked if we could stop on the way home for a soda, so we pulled over at a local gas station and she went in while I stayed in the car and took several deep breaths. She was doing good, but my fear was trying to sneak up on me. Once she got her drink and jumped back in he driver's seat, we were off. As she pulled onto the main road, she began to pick up speed. My nerves kicked in a bit and then it hit me....we were on a main highway and the speed was about to go up to 60 mph!!!!! I felt that pit in my stomach, my body went cold, my hands were sweaty and clammy, my heart started beating out of my chest and I thought to myself, "Oh my goodness, I'm about to have a panic attack!" I haven't had a panic attack since I was a teenager, so this was surprising even to me. I kept my cool and did not say anything as I did not want to upset my daughter or make her nervous. I simply took some deep breaths and told myself to calm down....after all she is doing great, she's going the speed limit, she's slowing down when she needs to, and not following too close behind other cars....there is nothing to be afraid of.
I continued to encourage her and we eventually made it home safely. That night I knew I had to do something because I would need to allow her to drive every evening and practice as much as possible. So I did the only thing I knew for sure would work....I prayed. I laid my fear at the feet of God and asked Him to always keep us safe. I asked Him to help me with my fear because I no longer want to be a slave to my fears...I need to trust God more. Sure enough, he answered my prayer. The last few days she has been great and so have I. I keep my calm and only ask her to slow down a couple of times here and there just to settle my nerves a bit, (even though she drives great, she understands my fear and does what her irrational mother asks of her). Afterwards, I thank her for having patience with me. Go figure, usually it is the parent who needs to have patience with the teen... I can't image having a better daughter. Cheyenne has always been my little angel. She is very mature and has a good head on her shoulders. Now when I ride with her I am much calmer and can feel God's hand on us....guiding us...protecting us. Thank you, Jesus, for hearing my prayer and watching over us. I love you, Lord, with all my heart.
Today, my son, Charlie, came over and went with us to take my daughter to physical therapy. And I was glad she was driving because I did not feel well at all. I've been having trouble breathing for the past couple of days, but last night it got worse. I took my inhaler last night and this morning, but it didn't help much. It is very hot in my parent's house, (as it is an old mobile home), and this Texas heat and humidity is brutal on my asthma. Going outside to run errands made it even worse. I thought I might even need to go to the hospital. However, sitting inside the cool building waiting for Cheyenne to complete her physical therapy helped a lot. I went to the pharmacy to see if I could get a nebulizer machine, but they said I would need a prescription for that. So, I made myself a doctor's appointment for tomorrow morning and hope they will prescribe it to me. In the meantime, I was able to use my Mom's machine to do a breathing treatment. I also need to make sure my pneumonia isn't trying to come back. I think it's just that the intense heat and humidity has triggered my asthma. I'm usually pretty much confined to the house during the summer months. Especially during the yellow, orange, and red alert days, (which is pretty much all of July and August). I am feeling a lot better now since it is night time and the temp has come down outside a bit.
I know Arizona is hot too, but hoping that the dry, and thinner, air will help a bit. Besides, if all I have to endure is 2 or 3 months of intense dry heat and then the rest of the year is like 75-80 degrees...I can definitely do that! In Texas you only have about 2 weeks of fall and 2 weeks of spring with those mild temps, (if we are lucky....giving 2 weeks is generous). I can't wait for 8 more days to go by. =) I'm so ready to see my sweet loving husband again and be with him in our new home. I'm so ready for this major change and new chapter in our lives. I can't wait to see what our journey has in store for us.
Going to go rest some more....have a great evening all.
Thanks for reading "All About My Business"
Crystal
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